Ramblings -

Today is a ramble day. That's not an excuse, nor an apology, just a fact. I had intended to describe my treatment regiment, but it doesn't seem important right now. And it's partly Faith's fault. She said write how you feel. Bad timing.

This has been the toughest week and yesterday the roughest day. I'm approaching the end of round ten, but it's a fifteen rounder. So far I haven't taken any hard punches, but the punches are taking their toll.

They've come a long way with chemo. You don't throw up any more. The doctors are proud of that and will tell you, many times......you won't throw up. So far with me, they're right. Now it's an easy leap from "you won't throw up" to thinking "I won't feel sick". Wrong leap. At last count I have seven anti-nausea medicines.....or maybe eight.....or if you count the one they put in my IV, maybe nine. So what I think, is the meds keep you from actually tossing your cookies, while you continue to feel like you need to toss your cookies.

When you feel like things need to come up, the idea of putting anything down is out of the question. But that doesn't matter because the radiation has already taken away any desire to
eat. They (the doctors) told me that the radiation would make some food taste funny, like red meat and maybe something else that I can't remember. In my case it makes all food taste like......well.......like I wouldn't feed it to my dog, if I had a dog. It makes me an easy dinner date. I don't care what the menu looks like, I'm happy with a bowl of oatmeal. Yeh, oatmeal......like Mom used to make. Hey, she said it was good for me then so why wouldn't it be good for me now.

And then there's this phenomenon slangly called "chemo brain". A friend of Faith's, Laurie of Salt Lake City, told us about it. She's a beautiful, wig crested, 42 year old wife and mother of three little ones that is battling breast cancer. Faith used to babysit her and her sister. She told us chemo makes you a little goofy. In my case, Faith is wondering if she will notice any difference. Say a prayer for Laurie.......she's a tough girl with a tough fight.

It's go home day and that makes it a good day. It's also Maddux's birthday and that makes it a great day. Maddux is one of my three grandsons. There will be a big party tonight with the entire family in attendance, including my parents and Faith's parents, plus all the kids and Adrienne's in-laws from Idaho. I'm sure the cake and ice cream will be delicious. I'll just substitute a bottle of Ensure.

I slept good last night and today is a new day, with a fresh start. I also know Thursdays mark the crest of feeling bad for the week and that I will feel better today and even better over the weekend.

So that's my ramble.....thanks for bearing with me.