Mixed Emotions -

I've finished my treatments and we're home! The last one was a real challenge, but we made it.

I know I should be elated, but I'm not. Oh, I'm delighted they're over, but it is not fulfilling. When you run the race, finish the race, cross the tape, and not know who won, it's a little hollow. All during the race (the treatments) you could see the benchmarks, track your movement, monitor your efforts. Now all the benchmarks are gone. And apparently the results are weeks, if not months, away.

What we have learned is that radiation continues to do its thing several days after the last exposure. We've also learned it'll be two to four weeks to heal from these treatments. Not really the kind of reward one would expect for completing the gauntlet.

It's been ten days since the last chemo, so I think most of that is out of my body. What I'm feeling now I call radiation sickness. No one else has called it that, it's just what I call it. I still need to take my anti nausea meds. Whatever it is, I'm ready for it to leave.

We see the doctors again in two weeks. Our goal is to be well over the hump by that time and feeling much better. The most immediate challenge is to eat again and we're going to attempt that later today. I know it doesn't sound like much of a challenge, but just not knowing if you can, is a bit daunting. I've been warned if I don't soon swallow, I might not be able, and we haven't really eaten for several weeks. Here's to real food.