The Other Side of the Fence -

I've never been on this side of the fence before. That is to say, I've never been the one with the life threatening illness or injury. It's been an eye opener and one I'd like to share. Specifically, I'd like to share two lessons.

First, the importance of a card. The importance of a greeting card, email, phone call, basket, letter, or visit cannot be overstated. I can now personally tell you it's substantially bigger than huge. The knowledge that someone would use their own limited supply of time to find a card, contemplate what to write, seek out an address and mail it to me takes me to my knees. It is such a powerful act, such a statement of caring! To all of you, I can only say thank you, because I don't know a way to pay back what you've given me. It's much needed strength and hope when the body and spirit are being robbed of both and in sore need of resupply. I've received baskets, books, group cards, personally compiled music cd's, stuffed animals, plaques with inspirational words, cards, and offers of helping hands. THANK YOU!

Let me share how I read a card. Please, take no offense, because I know a lot of thought, effort, and time goes into choosing the card and deciding what to write. But I start at the bottom and read who it's from. At that point, whatever words are in the card are drowned out by the roar of the action taken by that person. All I hear is this person cared and I sit in bewilderment and wonderment. Then I read what they write, and don't worry, it's always right. And then, through blurry, tear-filled eyes, I read the prewritten message. The power of the card.....oh, my.......or a phone call or a quick email!

And what you say is really secondary to what you've done. I've had people say, "If there's anything we can do, let us know". By that time, they've already done it. They told me they cared....and after that, what more is there to be done?

Second, the shame lesson. The second lesson is shame on me. Shame, shame, shame....for having so many opportunities to tell someone I cared and not doing it. All those times when I rationalized my way out of action with 'I don't know what to say, I don't know what hospital they're in, I don't have an address, I don't have time', or whatever other lame excuse I let get in the way. Thanks to cancer and thanks to all of you, I now understand.

And as the first step in my penance, I'm sending a card to Howard Logan. Howard has been told his cancer is terminal and he has no hope. I'm going to tell him I'm praying for a miracle. Maybe you could send a card, too. His address is 580 Lombard, Green River, WY 82935.

Next - Blue Bands and Rain Dancin'