A Home Run! -

Today, on this national day of Thanksgiving, I have a lot to be thankful for. We heard from the Huntsman Cancer Center yesterday afternoon and they are saying we hit a home run! YES!!! We still have a formal meeting with the doctor to go over the scan results, but we were told they were very good. Apparently there are a couple of spots they want to watch, but nothing that requires anything more than watching.

The family has gathered for Thanksgiving and it's wonderful to have so many with which to share this great news. Today we give thanks to the skilled doctors and nurses that worked on us, thanks to the caring family and friends that stood by us, thanks for all the prayers given up on our behalf, and thanks to God for by the grace of God we've come though this.

So, as you gather around your Thanksgiving table today, where ever that may be, offer a prayer of thanksgiving for answered prayers. Your prayers have been powerful, and today will indeed be a very special Thanksgiving Day at the Harris household.

THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU

Attitude -

I'm sitting here thinking about tomorrow and my PET scan. It's like taking a test you can't prepare for or study for, but want desperately to pass. Tests have never bothered me, but this one seems completely out of my control. All I have to bring to the examination table is my attitude.

From the beginning of this journey, everyone has emphasized the importance of attitude. I must admit, it's taken me some time to fully understand this. It was as if attitude was THE way to win and if you didn't win it would mean you had a poor attitude. Well, cancer isn't something you can just wish away. So that's not it. I've come to understand it's your attitude about the fight, not the disease.

Attitude is how you approach the cancer challenge, and it comes into play early. The very first doctor I saw queried me about my mental toughness. I kind of got in his face and told him he didn't need to worry about my resolve or attitude. To some extent, every doctor we met made a similar assessment.

Now, I have no proof, but I have a theory on how this all works. I think your prescribed treatment regiment is really the result of three factors. First, they determine what kind of cancer cell you have, the location of the tumor, and how far it may have spread.....the stage. Second, they assess your physical condition and determine just how much your body will tolerate. I think this second part is fairly easy to determine. You can tell them you're in great shape, workout five times a week and eat right, but it won't take but a few tests for the doctor to make a fairly accurate assessment. Third, they assess your attitude; where your head is. This is more subjective and I think what you say here is extremely important as they decide just how much you can take. My theory is they start with a fairly standard treatment prescription based on the cancer diagnosis and then modify it depending on factors two and three.

In my case, I think I talked myself into a harder or rougher treatment. I recall weighing treatment options with every doctor I met......surgery options, chemo options, radiation options. Every time I thought their treatment was leaning conservative I challenged them. I told every doctor, at least once, "I don't want a swing and a miss." Probably a dumb way to put it, but I didn't have a better way to convey where my head was.

Now, that was a good start. But as my treatment progressed, I really learned to understand this attitude thing. The attitude everyone talks about is the attitude about the treatments. After four chemo sessions, you know what's coming with number five. You know how you're going to feel. You know the routine. Can you walk back in again and again knowing what's in store? Radiation is cumulative......burn on burn. Toward the end, it's attitude that gets you back under that zapper day after day.

I said earlier I thought I talked myself into a rougher treatment. The doctors never said much out of the ordinary. They led me to think the treatment WAS ordinary. But I got a different read from the lab technicians. These were the people that saw me everyday. You get so you develop an awkward relationship with these white coats. In the last week of radiation, I could see and feel their concern. "How are you doing, Al", and it wasn't small talk. "Al, you're doing go0d....are you okay?" And at one time, "We know this is hard; it's as tough as we give anyone." Were they just words of encouragement? I don't think so. I saw the concern in their eyes and heard the compassion in their voices.

So, that's my take on attitude. I think it plays a huge role and I think it's a factor early in the process, before most patients even know it's a factor. It's being seriously assessed from the beginning and helps define your treatment. And I believe it's the attitude about the treatment....not the disease.....that's imperative.

So, we swing for the bleachers and tomorrow we hear whether it was a home run or a foul ball. The test is tomorrow.........but it'll be another week before we get the call.

Next......the alone part of the journey.

Back to Work -

WOW! It's been a long time since I posted an entry. I would like to say time flies, but that's not the case. Improvement has been slow......but we're still improving. Not so much day to day, but more like week to week. We are eating more, even though we're not enjoying it much. We have started a strength and weight gaining program, but that too looks to be slow.

Today, however, was a big day. I went back to work full time. That means going back on the air this morning at 6 AM. I told Faith last night that I probably could have gone back a couple of weeks ago. Tonight, I'm not so sure. My voice showed the strain by the time I finished the show and it's been a long day, but boy was it good to be back. It's been five months and I was a bit rusty. (I thought originally that I'd be back in three months. Right!) Had to struggle to remember everything that needed to be done and then remember how to do it. But this community is so understanding and supportive, and we heard from many well-wishers.

Faith and I continue to marvel at the fantstic staff that covered all the bases since last June. It's another of the many blessing we have received and for which we will give much thanks next week when we all gather for our national day of Thanksgiving.

Speaking of next week, my PET Scan is scheduled for a week from today. Everything points to a high probability of getting a clean report. I feel good, and good about the scan, but I'm nervous. I don't know how you help but be a little anxious. I look forward to finally getting some results, but I want a good report Hope that's not asking too much. (I welcome your thoughts and prayers.)

One of my goals from the start was to be able to emcee the "Cowboys Against Cancer" (CAC) fundraising banquet. It was a week ago, (Nov. 7) and we met our goal. It was truly a phenominal evening. The CAC Committee is a remarkable bunch of dedicated volunteers. They set the table and we showed up for a sensastional ride. It was a record-setting attendance of 860 with an unmatched level of generosity. This giving community blew away all previous banquets by raising $325,000! It was an emotional and moving night with many people sharing and shedding many tears. Faith and I will always remember this banquet. It was a long night, but the adrenalin kept us going and in the end it was a happy tired feeling.

The next day we went to Sheridan to visit my folks......perfect timing for a great, recharging visit.

Still coming........the meaning of attitude....or......going it alone.