Healing Slowly -
I'm getting better, I know I am, but on a day-to-day basis the change is imperceptible. I'd say it's like watching paint dry, except it's worse.
Everyone says I look good. In fact I've heard it so many times, I'm starting to believe it. Now, I just need to know what they mean. Do they mean I really look good? Or is it akin to telling your ninety year old grandmother she looks good....when you really mean she looks good for ninety. Or maybe it means I look better than they expected. Or maybe it's, you look really good for having cancer and chemo and radiation. The bottom line is the qualifier.......you look good compared to what? Since I don't know, I've decided it means I look good......compared to George Clooney. And thanks! I feel better already.
I do feel better. If I think back to Tuesday, speaking still required tremendous effort. I won't say it's effortless now, but it's not difficult. It's been nice to have an evening conversation with Faith and not struggle.
I made a trip to Pinedale on Thursday in connection with work. Shane did the driving or I wouldn't have gone, but it was still a long day.
Yesterday, I helped Chad a little with his deck rebuilding project....key words are "a little". Still, a couple of hours and I was wiped out. Not happy about that, but Faith finds ways to spin it to the positive and make it seem encouraging.
I continue to experiment with different food. It all tastes the same......and that's not good........so I'm basically eating nothing. Getting the morsels to my stomach is not a problem, it's getting them by the gateway. My taste buds are not cooperating.
It's been two weeks now since the last treatment. I know that's not long, but there are times when it feels endless. We see the doctor again on Wednesday and are hopeful it'll be more than "you look good....see me again in two weeks". Hopefully we'll find out when we can learn some results and plan a blue band burning bonfire.
Hey Al! -
ReplyDeleteGreeting from Montana (again if I've used that one before I do tend to repeat myself)..
First off... I'm glad you are doing better and I'm SURE it's 'you look good compared to George Clooney'. Clooney would probably agree too. Second, in reference to you thinking you have not taken time to write others. I take exception to that. You sent us an email after reading our blog on surviving our fire incident. Your email was uplifting, and helped us to validate our feelings of fear, survival, confusion, bravery, fear (I know, I said that already), and our newly intesified realization of what is important. Your email was just what we needed at the time and it made us smile, cry and hug each other saying, 'I'm glad someone else got it and why we wrote it'. Thanks for this blog of yours!! Thanks for your fight, because I'm sure that through your battle, the doctors have learned more than you know or understand. This is huge! Thanks for writing your feelings and letting us hear your voice when perhaps your voice would have been someone we would not have recognized. Through all your posts there is Al. This is our gift from you as you fight your fight. Thanks for the gift Al.
Love and constant prayers,
The Montana Balfanys
Gregg, Debbie and Jacob
Hey there Mr. Harris,
ReplyDeleteI have told you that you look good so aside from looking WAAAAY better than George Clooney, I'll explain what I meant. I think you can see in the faces, and in the eyes of cancer patients, what they have been through. The day I told you you looked good, my thought was that you looked peaceful and content. I know you've been through some rough times, but schweeetheart, you're looking GOOD! HAHA. Love you all, and we're so happy you're making more appearances at TRN! It's great to see you, You're FABULOUS! And I agree about your wife, she's FABULOUS as well!